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    I had a crappy job and was living in a pit hole on the Lower East Side with a Wall Street roommate who was never there.My life was pretty much getting high a lot and eating mostly Ramen noodles.We have thousands of users joining daily all looking for discreet free sex.This is the best place to have a discreet affair bar none!She had a very sweet face and big boobs she flaunted as if literally she judged every shirt or dress on its ability to assault you with her cleavage. And so, after a long and harrowing journey, I pull up to her apartment and past the oblivious doorman. People are into some weird-*ss crap when it comes to sex. I'm talking black leggings and fluttery big giant red-with-black-polka-dots body wings. She just kind of fluttered around the room and over into the bedroom, out of sight.She was a little shallow, and we weren't all that into each other. And I enter the elevator, just about tripping from smoking too much, with the reveal right around the corner, I suddenly start to panic. Her trademark cleavage spilling out the front and two springy ping-pong-ball antennae sprouting out the top of her head. I don't know if I could have done it, stone cold sober. It was just too weird, and hard not to get distracted by her wings flapping up on each down stroke, and those antenna balls bouncing around on her head, which was smushed down into the bed.

    She doesn't want to take no for an answer, though, so she says:"OK, but if you change your mind, I'm already in my costume."And I said, "Your costume? I probably should have seen this as an invitation to explore my own freaky side, and I do regret missing that opportunity.

    It was just kind of a casual relationship, an excuse to have good sex on a regular basis, with a couple of dull dates here and there to make it all feel legit. An Intriguing Offer Anyway, I'm sitting in my NYC apartment one day in the middle of the afternoon, smoking a bong by myself because I was that kind of driven and motivated, when Tanya called me up. I plopped down on the couch and pulled my snacks in tight, and started binge-watching. I paused the show and blew another bowl to think this through. She was giving me this impossibly sultry look, and I'm just as high as a kite, and thinking, like OK, wow, this is not what I was expecting, but yeah, I think I could be into this. But high, this was a pretty interesting proposition. But for her it was different — this was her thing, apparently — and she had a sheets-clawing, screaming-into-the-pillow orgasm.

    I could tell she was pretty horny, but I wasn't feeling it. There were ramifications if I decided to leave; it would mean finding pants, and sunglasses, and braving the outside world for a subway trip uptown. Once you realize this is gonna make for an incredible sex story, you've gotta go through with it, right? And so I take off my clothes and peel down her tights and underwear to her knees, and climb aboard like I think a male ladybug might do it, and we ... I tried to talk a little afterward, break the ice, but she shook her head — still no, still in character, curled up on the bed — and after a little while I got the hint and left. We never talked about it later and never repeated the episode.

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